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1924 Pine Street a.k.a."The House that Crazy Fat Ethel Built"
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San Francisco looks great on camera. Alfred Hitchcock, Chris Columbus, and Philip Kaufmann sure thought so. So did Don Siegel, and Colin Higgins. Whenever I meet someone from San Francisco, my first question is: "What's your favorite San Francisco movie?" Someday I hope to meet someone who names one of independent Bay Area filmmaker Nick Millard's bootsploitation pictures.
Millard was a hippie-era pornographer and Jean-Luc Godard devotee who specialized in arty lesbian porn. But in 1973, he randomly switched gears to write and direct an hour-long proto-slasher centering on a 250-pound ex-mental patient named Ethel Janowski who starts meat-cleavering anyone who suggests that she lose weight. And so begat Criminally Insane (1975)—retroactively aka'd "Crazy Fat Ethel" for kicks—a crusty thift-store gem straight outta pre-gentrified San Francisco that ticks all the regional horror boxes while (sorta) answering the question: “What would a John Waters movie feel like directed by Doris Wishman?” This might tie with Foul Play (1978) as my favorite San Francisco movie.
CRIMINALLY INSANE (1975) | Original theatrical trailer
Criminally Insane has a reputation for being more tongue-in-cheek than it actually is, and the work of John Waters is probably what it gets compared to the most. To me, it's got more of a Ray Dennis Steckler/S. F. Brownrigg vibe—the poverty row seediness is played completely straight. Don't go in expecting a zany, bad-taste comedy—it's more like a Depression-era potboiler dropped into the mid-1970's. It's grainy, choppy, and set almost entirely within someone's dusty, nicotine-stained Lower Pacific Heights home. The regional horror energy is strong with this one. |
| "Granny's House, 1973" 1924 Pine Street, San Francisco, California, USA |
Yes, before San Francisco was one of the bougiest cities on the planet, it was the blue-collar hometown of the Janowski Clan: Granny, Rosalie, and the aforementioned Ethel.
CUT TO:
EXT. GRANNY'S HOUSE - DAY SUBTITLE: "50 Years Later"
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| "Granny's House, 2023" 1924 Pine Street, San Francisco, California, USA |
"Our city’s foggy streets and dramatic Victorians are a natural fit for movies," boasts the SF Curbed Bay Area’s ultimate horror movie filming locations map. "Especially for tales of terror!"
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| "For Sale" |
sf.curbed.com says of 1924 Pine Street:
"By modern standards, titling a movie Criminally Insane is a little insensitive, but at least it beats this 1975 exploitation slasher’s alternative title: Crazy Fat Ethel...The current residents of this Western Addition Victorian are probably better off not knowing that the house featured prominently in this bottom-barrel offering from [Nick Millard] the director of Dracula In Vegas. But in a way this is still a warped claim to fame, as Criminally Insane maintains a following as one of the best horrible movies ever made."
Indeed it is one of the best horrible movies ever made—and arguably Millard's best known. But it wasn't his first (or last) San Francisco production. Nick had been writing, producing, directing, and distributing films for over a decade by that point.
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| Nick Millard taking a bath Circa late 1950's |
Nick Millard (1941-2022) was the son of a legendary roadshow exploitationer named S.S. "Steamship" Millard who made a living traveling the country to exhibit provocative stock footage compilations and teen pregnancy documentaries. Surprisingly little is known about him, but he had a reputation as something of a huckster (even doing time in San Quentin at one point). Nonetheless, he was a good father, as Nick only had nice things to say about him. "My father was a great man," Nick stated in an interview with the cult film site [re]SearchMyTrash. "He had a tremendous influence not only on my film career, but on my life, and all the fun that I have had."
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| Nick Millard and 35 mm Arriflex Circa 1966 San Francisco, California, USA |
Speaking of fun film careers, the late Nick Millard got to direct everything from action to historical bio-pics to five-dollar literary adaptations. But for the first ten years, he seemingly focused exclusively on adult films with a very particular, but instantly recognizable style. Taking a cue from the French New Wave (as well as budgetary considerations), his early work was almost always shot MOS, and narrated in post-production by what Ed Grant of the MediaFunhouse blog termed "a perpetually horny, self-loathing female." For those not put off by hippies licking fetish footwear while some 'luded out broad solemnly pontificates on eroticism, morality, and the meaning of life, Millard's pseudo-European, arthouse-adjacent sexploitation is a worthwhile and wholly unique viewing experience.
"I am one of the best film directors working today, because I watched and learned from one of the best, two-time Academy Award-winner John Huston." — Nick Millard.
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| Nick Millard on the set of 357 MAGNUM (1977) Circa mid-1970's Pacifica, California, USA |
When Millard abruptly switched gears from sapphic erotica to horror in the early 1970's—a career change that he joked was "a step up from the gutter to the curb"—the curb in question was located at 1924 Pine Street in San Francisco. It was in this murky Victorian where Millard spent five weeks shooting his first tale of terror in the spring of 1973.
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| "Take advantage of their decorator's touch!" San Francisco Examiner |
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| Lights! Camera! Action! |
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| Priscilla Alden Actress Photos by Bill Wolf |
In the lead, Millard cast local thespian (and all-around good sport) Priscilla Alden (1939-2007). Alden enjoyed an acclaimed, decades-long career on Bay Area stages, and must have been bemused by this role that called for her to do little more than eat, stomp around in a frumpy schoolgirl outfit, and sometimes chop people up. Yet, despite her drama credentials and the potential for camp, her performance isn't flamboyant or comic at all. As far as cinematic mass killers go, her understated naivety is more akin to, say, Tim O'Kelly in Peter Bogdanovich's Targets (1968) than anything Divine ever did.
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| Priscilla Alden, Actress San Francisco, California, 1973 |
It could be argued that the location itself is a co-star. On the 2006 DVD special features, Millard stated that he needed a location that was "quite rundown, kind of spooky ... a place you'd be frightened to be at night." I grew up in San Francisco, watching regional horrors set inside creaky old homes like Don't Look in the Basement (1973), Axe (1977), and The Deadly Spawn (1983). I loved spooky houses, and my childhood was spent in them, but I never got to see them on-screen except in homegrown (and sometimes homemade) motion pictures from far-flung places like Texas, the Deep South, and suburban New Jersey. I still find the idea of a 16mm gorefest coming out of post-Summer of Love San Francisco to be highly exotic—and in this era of gray interiors, open floor plans, and vessel sinks, Criminally Insane is quite the time capsule.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
I miss old San Francisco homes like this. Cramped rooms, sticky wallpaper, and paradoxically ostentatious yet forgettable art. I remember massive, gold-framed paintings hanging in living rooms of ... flowers? A bucket? A long-dead ancestor? The 1930's era decor is long extinct, and now these narrow floor plans are going the way of the Dodo as folks renovate Victorians to keep up with current interior design trends.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
Everyone I knew had a living room like this. The green couch and that Japanese wall art give me shivers of recognition. When contemporary media depicts the mid-1970's, they always make it seem like everyone was super modern and on-trend—but I just remember everyone having 40 year-old furniture.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
In 2022, the living room is noticeably brighter. Interesting that the art above the couch is in keeping with the spirit of '73.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
I like that they transformed the utility closet behind Granny into chic liquor storage.
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| Jane Lambert (1921 - 1980) |
Speaking of Granny, she was played by Jane Lambert (1921-1980), a six-foot theater actress from Kentucky who had come out West looking for work only a few years before. Although Granny exits the picture fairly early (being Ethel's first victim), she makes an indelible impression. It's interesting to note that Granny was only 52 years old at the time (and less than 20 years older than Priscilla Alden). Jane Lambert went on to enjoy a fairly successful career in TV, but she might be best remembered as Vivian, the grouchy housewife who Kirk Douglas robs in Brian DePalma's The Fury (1978). "If you asked me what happened to the milk of human kindness, I'd have to tell you frankly that the whole world has dried up at the tit!"
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| Jane Lambert as "Vivian Nuckels" in Brian DePalma's THE FURY (1978) |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
No sooner is Granny gone than Ethel's hooker sister, Rosalie, moves in. You know what would've made this scene better? A Corningware coffee percolator.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
As you can see, they really jazzed up the dining room.
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| Michael Flood, Actress San Francisco, California, 1973 |
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| "Pleasant to work with." |
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| "Yes, her name is Michael Flood. Many are confused, because of the first name, Michael. I haven't seen her since we shot in 1973. Pleasant to work with." |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
Victorian kitchens always seemed incongruously cramped given the home's overall size, so I don't disagree with anyone who knocks down a wall to expand on a kitchen.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
As you can see, they did just that. In fact, there was a big ol' addition made to the house in the 1990's.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
1924 Pine Street was (and is) a three-bedroom house, and Granny, Rosalie, and Ethel each slept upstairs. Granny's room was at the end of the hall.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
Granny's room is where the bodies pile up, but in reality, this would be a terrible place to stash corpses as the breeze from the front-facing windows would stink up the whole house. A smarter place to hide rotting bodies would be the back bedroom. Good one, Ethel.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
Again, it's like the artwork in 2022 is paying homage to what was hanging in 1973.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
Rosalie's bedroom saw the most action. If she wasn't banging some random drunk, then she was barricaded inside with her skeezy boyfriend/pimp, John. I'm still alarmingly amused by the part where he pimp-slaps her for laughing at his bronzer.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
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| Robert Copple, actor. San Francisco, 1973 |
Speaking of John, he was played by another mysterious performer, this one named Robert Copple. Copple has one non-Millard credit: he played "Dwight" in an X-rated film called Naked Are the Cheaters (1970) aka "The Politicians" (also co-starring fellow Millard alum Uschi Digard). Unfortunately, Naked Are the Cheaters is proving annoyingly difficult to locate and watch—but I did find it mentioned in this excellent write up on Uschi Digard on A Wasted Life. "Sandra [Angela Carnon] leaves town to visit her mentally retarded brother, Dwight (Robert Copple of Criminally Insane) in North Carolina, and assists him in masturbating to make his birthday that much happier." Maybe I'm better off not seeing the movie.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
When Ethel wasn't planted in front of the TV, eating Rocky Road, she was camped out in her bedroom at the top of the stairs, eating Nilla Wafers. Millard said in his 2006 DVD commentary that, despite her size, Alden didn't like to gorge herself—and found the scenes where Ethel has to eat boxes of cookies or cartons of ice cream difficult to film.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
They added a front-facing door to the bathroom.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 1973 |
Ethel attempts to dig a grave in the backyard, but her nosy neighbor pops his head over the fence to warn her that the ground is too rocky. This rings absolutely true in my experience; San Francisco has notoriously rocky soil, and nosy neighbors popped their heads over the fence all the time.
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
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| 1924 Pine Street in 2022 Courtesy of Redfin |
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| San Francisco Examiner 1975 |
Millard paired Criminally Insane up with another 60-minute feature he subsequently directed called Satan's Black Wedding (1975) and distributed them himself as a "shock and horror program." The double feature had its hometown premiere in 1975 at the St Francis Theatres, a down-and-out ex-"movie palace" turned twin showcase located between 5th and 6th on Market Street. I don't remember much about the St Francis experience except that there was a big light-up Pepsi clock next to one of the screens. Who does that? The St Francis closed in 2001 and stood vacant until it was demolished in 2013. Fun fact: the St Francis Theatres also hosted the premiere of Dr. Jekyll's Dungeon of Death (1979).
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| St Francis Theatres San Francisco, California Circa 1979 |
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| San Francisco Examiner 1975 |
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| St Francis Theatres San Francisco, California Circa mid-2000's. |
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| World Video Pictures VHS |
Criminally Insane and its co-feature Satan's Black Wedding both hit VHS in the mid-1980's complete with clamshell packaging and lurid artwork via the World Video Pictures label. Although I'd been aware of this film's existence from an early age, I didn't watch it until my senior year of high school when I found it at a Blockbuster Video in Rohnert Park, California. It clicked with me immediately, like a snapshot of my childhood. Not the prostitution and murder part, but when you grow up around broken men and angry fat women in low-rent San Francisco, you don't see it reflected back too often.
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